Aidpage

Hi,

 I know it is hard right now. First, congratulations on being a someone who works hard. It would probably be easier on you to quit your job and live off the government while attending school. You are definitely a hard worker as is evident by raising two children, college, and a full time job. That is a very stressful life. However, I have been where you are and know how you feel. In my case i lived on 1200 a month while attending Virginia Tech full time and supported 3 stomachs. One thing I had was family. I had to bite the bullet and move into a very old and dilapidated trailer for 3 years in order to make it. If you have family do not be to proud to seek assistance from them. In time past this was the norm in America. You should really think outside the box on how to cut cost. I remember that I would watch the grocery adds and was sometimes able to by the staples to get through the week for 50 dollars. We ate a lot of beans and chicken drums. Very little beef as it was to expensive. In reality 1600 a month is doable. Many families make do with less. Your situation is short term. Also, you should have no problem finding a college educated career making 17 or more dollars per hour. Unless you are getting a degree in basketweaving. I left that lifestyle 10 years ago and our household income is now 136,000 per year. My first year out of college we had income of 60,000 per year. I am extremely grateful that I found a way to stay in college. No matter what tighten your belt and keep the dream of the future and the next couple of years will pass and life will get much better. Your just paying your dues right now. It is hard but nothing worthwhile is easy. STAY IN SCHOOL as it is the fastest way up. Take care.

Koppi, you really enjoy taking a long time to say absolutely nothing don’t you. Nice of you to completely ignore snorks’ request to leave that deuchebag faith philosophy out of it too. Snorks doesn’t need confidence nor does she need a stupid superstition to help her ignore the elephant in the room. She needs advice of what SHE can do to fix her problem. If you think that by ignoring the elephant in your house that God will make it go away, go right ahead and keep thinking that, TO YOURSELF. Koppi you are a jerk. Not the kind of jerk who’s like a bully, but the old fashion use of the word that means town idiot.

Snorks, I was raised by my mom and at about the age of 14 she married a guy as a last chance at more kids and a hope to get out of poverty. For what it’s worth, I want to encourage your conviction to not marry for the same reasons. My stepfather ended up convincing her numerous times to throw me out of the house just because he wanted to pitch some random fit. My mom’s stubbornness and stupidity coupled with that asshole’s instinctive need to dispose of the kid who wasn’t his are major factors as to why at the age of 26 I still can’t get work that would be enough to support myself independently.

At 18 I had to join the military after high school because I couldn’t trust my mom to not throw me out at any random moment. Before that I was a student with a gift for understanding complex concepts like in math and science but I was held back by a learning disability that only causes me to take longer than most people to read and write. If I had a descent opportunity in education I could have had a PhD in physics before I was 18, but the public school system put the responsibility in my mom to request and sign for the free testing that would have proved that. I made her promise me that she would look into it when I was in 3rd grade, but she never did. I served the Air Force for 3 years and ended up leaving before the end of my term with the old “personality disorder” excuse because the situation I was placed in by the military financially crippled me and my supervisors got tired of me trying to climb the chain of command to get them to do the right thing. All I had to tell the psychologist was that I was stressed and I was out. It took another 2 years before I could get the military to follow through on my education benefit and they coincidentally “lost” and refused to investigate the paperwork that proved I signed up for the kicker which would pay me $600 per month more to go to school. The proof is on file at Randolf AFB, TX right now, but they wont look at it or give me a copy unless ordered to. 

I moved back in with my mom and stepdad after that until I was kicked out by another random fit that included him threatening to bash me with a hammer and somehow they finally came to their senses and let me live with them on a $300 per month rent when I showed up at my mom’s work with a pummeled face that had been beaten in by my roommate’s (the roommate my mom begged to take me in) boyfriend and his buddy over a false rumor that she spread about me for attention. I got a sweet job and went to community college and last January I transferred to a university with a great reputation. However, I’m currently broke because the school and the federal government make it impossible for poor people to make it at this college without getting work. The quarter system here and the fact that disabled services require loads of proof (and loads of money spent to get that proof) before they take care of you, even if you’re a paraplegic and can’t move without their help, has also made it hard for me.

I, like you snorks, have made it through a lot but do not know what I can do to fix my current situation. For what it’s worth, I do have some good advice to help you with based on my experiences. When I was 14 and foresaw my mom’s immanent abandonment at 18and I thought of getting my GED and going straight to college. Mom wouldn’t let me do it, but as I went through community college I saw firsthand that it would have been better if I had. High school wastes time and focuses on how much work gets produced, not on how much education is learned. College doesn’t waste your time with anything and only tells you to learn enough to pass the midterms and finals however you like. There’s also free tutoring that is offered at most community colleges.

I would recommend that you get your boys to look into passing the GED and going to the nearest community college. You can go check in advance as to what bureaucratic hoops you have to jump through to get them accepted. They are there, you just have to ignore the jerks who give you a hard time about it and keep asking. You should even be able to get them student loans as long as they are accepted as students, but a few more barriers might be in place for not being 18. Keep looking for the loopholes, they are there.

When each of them turns 15, you should encourage your boys to find work that will lead them to jobs which are renowned for getting poor people through college, like waiting or bartending. You yourself might want to look into such things if you can in any spare time that you have. Waiting tables at a good restaurant should get you more than $12.50 after you add tips. Some waiting positions get people as much as $25 per hour, and no, I’m not talking about strip clubs or Hooters. While you are at it I recommend that you teach your boys how to make a resume, store important information for future resumes and applications, and teach them how to do their taxes when the time comes.

The son who has difficulty should be able to get free testing at the college and should be able to get time and a half or double the about of time that other students get on tests along with a few other perks. The majors that I have learned are great for quick and easy money to support yourself with are Biology, Programing, Economics, and Accounting. I’ve been a Physics major, but right now, as I’m in dire straights, I’m regretting the act of holding onto my dreams because the only money out there for physics are the ones who complete the bachelors. Until that point you can still get screwed over like I am now.

If either som finds that they are good at math or science it wouldn't hurt for them to gain experience in tutoring by volunteering at the college tutoring center. It can pay well to tutor privately, but it's difficult to get enough clients and maintain them. Some tutoring companies however are doing a great job at getting work for tutors while paying them $15-25 per hour. 

 Learning a second language can also benefit all of you financially, but the learning part isn't easy. If you all agree to learning the same language together it could make it a lot easier since you can practice with each other on your free time. You can email me for some info on free self help on learning second languages as well as some advice on getting other sources of self teaching one in less conventional ways if you would like.

Finally, the most important thing to keep in mind is family. People who succeed in life require some aspect of that luxury to do so. When you look at people who survive with fewer protections and rights, like illegal immigrants, the way they thrive is by supporting their family so that their family can help to support them. Never forget that. All I have, and not for the lack of trying to be a good son and citizen, are close relatives who can manage to borrow as much as $700 but refuse to even give me $5 for food in my time of need.

Oh and one more thing, you might try seeking advice on a better website. This stupid page deleted my message to you like 5 times already.

These are true facts you state, at times i feel the same way and see the same thing. But first of all, you shouldn't have to support your kids along, you didn't make them by your self. Put the Father on child support and that will help you out some.unfortually bad things happens to good people.But I'm happy that you stood up for your child and got out the realtionship.Prayers and you keep being strong and believe in God.You will make it.At times it seems hard but you have to keep on doing what you do in order to better your situation  for your self.You being you, and having that state of mind will see you through it, and at the end you will be smiling, because you didn't fall for what the world is trying to feed you.keep on keeping on and look for answers within your self, thats where it all starts ...have a bless day